When your best friend has a baby
It has been three weeks since my best friend gave birth to her daughter. During her pregnancy, and as her best friend and the built-in Aunt-to-be, all I have wanted to do is help. Help her put together the nursery, bring her essential items, hold her hand through tough moments, and be a short drive away or living room away like we used to be.
That was not possible 1,475 miles away.
Instead, I was the person she called when the test first said positive.
I was there over the phone to hear updates from appointments.
I was there to see her baby grow through ultrasounds over the phone.
I was there to help plan her baby shower for the one trip during the pregnancy.
When our loved ones and someone so dear to us is going through a major life event, we often feel like we need to do more. We need to be physically there more. We need to be available more. We need to show up more.
This is something I internally struggled with the past 10 months.
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I made my trip to them across the country over the weekend. Over the weekend, my heart cracked open. The friend I have spent a lifetime with has embarked on her journey of parenthood. I stared at her daughter in awe and I imagined who she would grow up to be. I reflected on her mom and I in kindergarten together, in middle school, in high school, and our college years - all of the memories we have created and how we have grown and changed. I pictured her in our future moments - yet to be made, a trio instead of a duo.
It was calm, it was joy, it was bliss.
As I sat quietly in thought and she sat in exhaustion, it was clear to me that my presence of love and support is in fact showing up for her. Whether that is 1,475 miles away, virtually, or right there next to her.
We might always want to do more, but this can cause guilt and anxiety and take our minds out of the important moments that we do not want to miss. My hope is that if go through a struggle of feeling like you are not doing enough for a loved one, that you remember the power and importance of simply being present - whether it is sitting in silence or hundreds of miles away.